so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
