I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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