I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
