The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
