Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
