ugly people sure do ruin things
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
