You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
