He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
