just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
