My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
