So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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