guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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