Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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