so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How naked do you want me to be?
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