Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize