Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
