fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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