So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
