I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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