what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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