I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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