I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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