when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
