I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
