You made me cry and you don't even care
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize