I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
