So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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