She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she told me i tasted like america
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
