I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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