i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This is the high leading the old right now
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
