Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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