Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
