I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
