How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
