...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize