i already hear my dad disowning me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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