I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
