***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
