The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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