I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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