i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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