I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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