I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
