Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
