I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We just shotgunned beers for America
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize