i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
MIDGETS
????
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
