Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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