my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I would fuck him just for his dog
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