bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I believe in your delicious
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
