took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
