He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize