how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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