Kiss
Puke
I wish I could punch you in the face.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
