so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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