We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
