I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize