I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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