Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
