In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
