Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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