please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
