Having a random hookup so left but love u
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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