Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
