She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize