she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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