You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
