I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize