He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
