you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
